Iingoma eziHorniest Disney zeXesha lonke

UGaston

I-Disney + ifike ngexesha leeholide-ngaba iyintsikelelo okanye sisiqalekiso? Ngaba ingcinga yokulahleka kwesiqendu esilandelayo se- UMandalorian ngenxa yeembophelelo zosapho zikuvusa ezinzulwini zobusuku ngokubila okubandayo? Okanye ngaba ithemba lokulungisa usapho lixabana neetoni zedulcet ze Umboniso bhanyabhanya oGobisayo kukwenza uphefumle ukukhululeka? Ngokwam, ndiyakholelwa ukuba yinto ekufuneka siyibulele ngokwenyani, kuba isinike ithuba lokujonga emva kuzo zonke izinto ezixabisekileyo zobuntwana kwaye siqonde ukuba ziyinyani kangakanani!



Kuko oko! Ndiye ndaqulunqa uluhlu lweengoma ezimbi kakhulu kwikhathalogu yeDisney! Ke yenza uluhlu lokudlalwayo (okanye ucofe iindlebe zakho kwaye uzifihle ekuhlambeni abantwana bakho abamsulwa) kwaye unyikime nenkuku yakho kuba uyithanda ngu ngcono phantsi apho kumanzi! Yithathe kum!



1. Gaston! ( Omhle kunye nesilwanyana )



Uninzi lweengoma ezikolu luhlu azibekwanga ngokuthe ngqo kodwa kuye kwafuneka ndinike uGaston indawo enye kuba le ngoma ayithethi ngomlinganiswa omnye, kodwa uLeFou ukhokelela kuyo yonke idolophu ukuba abhengeze ukungahambelani kunye nokudibanisa kaGaston. Kukho ukujijisana, kukho ukutshica, kukho ukuginya, kukho umzuzu wecream pie. Kananjalo loo nto inebhanti inokuba yiyo le nto yenza ukuba izizukulwana zeMillennial kunye neGen Z zithathele ingqalelo i-erotic asphyxiation. Amanqaku ebhonasi kuba yinto yesini esabelana ngesondo kwindawo yentselo. UGaston yincopho ye-Disney uphondo!

2. Isihogo somlilo ( Umva we-Notre Dame )



UClaude Frollo akangomnye wabakhohlisi abakhulu beDisney (hello butch Bea Arthur realness!) Kodwa unayo enye yezona ndawo zintle kakhulu kwi-Disney canon yonke. Kwaye eyona nto ndiyithethayo iyoyikeka! Ukukhanuka kwakhe u-Esmeralda kuyatshisa ngaye (ngokoqobo) kwaye ngenxa yokuba lolona hlobo lubi kakhulu lwamaKatolika akanako nje ukuyikroba kwaye azive engcono. Endaweni yokuba ahogele isikhafu sakhe kakhulu kwaye avakalise ukuba ukuba akanakuba naye ke isihogo sinako!

3. Ihlabathi Elitsha Ngokupheleleyo ( Aladdin )

Ayisiyiyo nje le ngoma ibonakala ngathi sisikweko sokuphulukana nobuntombi bakho kodwa mhlawumbi yenye yeengoma zeDisney ezinamaxesha onke (google nje Ihlabathi Elinqunu lonke kodwa qinisekisa ukuba useto lokhuseleko lukhona!) Le ngoma ibonisa ukuba I-protagonists yethu emsulwa kunye nobuchule bunokulangazelela ukwehla kwaye babone ukuba ikhaphethi ephaphazelayo iyahambelana na ne-drapes ukuba uyazi ukuba ndithetha ukuthini.

4. Makhe ndilunge kuwe ( Umcuphi omkhulu weMpuku )

Umcuphi omkhulu weMpuku yinto engaphantsi kweDisney engaphantsi kwe-90s kwaye ibandakanya nengoma yokoqobo yokuqhekeza phakathi embindini wayo! U-Miss Kitty (nangona eyimpuku) ucula kunye nemicu ye-ruffians kwi-Rat Trap, ebaxelela ukuba uyakususa zonke iiblues zakhe (oko kuthetha isinxibo sakhe esiluhlaza kwaye ndicinga ukuba kukho naziphi na iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu?) Kwaye akukho nto ndiyiphumeleleyo ayenzeli wena. Ungu-D ku-F abahlobo bam. Kwaye ngokunyaniseka? Kulungile kuye! Fumana intshukumo eshushu yentamo Miss Kitty!

Ukugqibela kwethu iphepha ellen

5. Ungumgxobhozo ( Inenekazi kunye neTramp )

Ukubuyela umva kwe-Let Me Be Be Good to you is Disney's OG vamp Peg from Inenekazi kunye neTramp. (Ewe Ndiyazi Inenekazi kunye neTramp yaphuma ngo-1955, kodwa ngeenjongo zolu luhlu, luza emva kuba alucaciswanga ngokucacileyo ngokwesini.) I-Tramp yangaphambili idangatye kwaye unxanelwe ngonaphakade, uPeg naye wayeyinkwenkwezi yangaphambili ye-Dog kunye ne-Pony Follies. I-Disney iyakuthanda ukujikeleza echibini le-burlesque-mhlawumbi ukunika utata okruqulayo into yokufumana… ukonwaba ngayo? Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, i-Peg iya kuhlala iphantsi ukuze iceke kunye ne-Tramp nanini na xa isiza, ngelixa ikwangumbhoxo odidayo wabantu abaninzi bokuqala (ngqo apho kunye ne-foxy Robin Hood).

6.Ukulwela intombazana ( Mulan )

Yinyani kwindalo iphela ukuba akukho mntu woyikisayo kunamajoni! (Ungandenzi ngale nto.) Ke ngokwendalo Mulan Iqela labazalwana bacula malunga nowasetyhini ogqibeleleyo kwaye baveze neentsana zabo. U-Yao une-tattoo fetish. UChi-Fu unomama ongumama. Ling ... kakuhle Ling ulele yonke into. Ngelishwa kubafana bethu abangamajoni, ingoma yabo iphazanyiswa ngoyena mbulali ubalaseleyo kubo bonke-iindlela zemfazwe.

7. Zilungiselele ( INgonyama yeNgonyama )

Kuko oko! Unqabileyo upholile! Horny yamandla. Kwaye ngelixa enemicimbi ethile eqinisekileyo ngemvume, unika ingcebiso elungileyo malunga nokwenza uloyiso olukhuselekileyo. Kuhlala kungcono ukuba uzilungiselele! Kunye nokuvuthwa kwengoma yakhe kubandakanya ukukhwela ilitye elikhulu phallus elinamandla eliphuma kumngxuma onukayo. Ufumana umfanekiso.

Ukukhankanywa okuBekekileyo:

(Umfanekiso: Disney)

Ngaba ufuna amanye amabali anje? Yiba ngumbhalisi kwaye uxhase indawo!

-UMary Sue unemigaqo-nkqubo engqongqo yokuphawula engavumiyo, kodwa ayikhawulelwanga, ukuthukwa nabani na , Intiyo nentetho egonyamelayo. —